tribute to MISERY

At least, I HAVE SAID EVERYTHING TO THE INSANE MAN. WHAT DID IT CHANGE? AS ALWAYS, NOTHING. Of course, we will never TALK as we used to. I guess I TELL EVERYTHING to the people I LOVE, BUT IN RETURN THEY CAN'T CHOOSE TO BE MINE. IT IS DIFFICULT...

I have lots of MISERIES... I will be just OK. Regarding my EX, I watched a TV RPOGRAMME today. LOL! WHAT CAN I DO? I HAVE NOTHING TO DO IN LIFE... 

AFTERWARDS, THE MAN SAID IF THE PERSON LOVES YOU AND LEAVES YOU ALONE ON THE ROAD, THAT IS A TYPE OF LOVE NOT EVERYONE CAN CARRY WITH. HOW TRUE! HE COULD NOT CARRY ME ON THE ROAD OF LOVE... FUCK HIM...

I WAS THINKING TO MESSAGE MY EX, BUT HE IS NOT WORTH IT. INSTEAD, I FOUND A WAY TO TALK TO THE INSANE MAN. HE NEVER LEFT ME ALONE ON THE ROAD OF LOVE BECAUSE HE HAD NEVER CHOSEN ME. IT IS A GOOD EXPERIENCE FOR ME NOT TO BE CHOSEN...

THE ONES WHOM CHOSEN ME WERE GONE TOO SOON. THE ONES WHOM CAN NEVER CHOOSE ME ALWAYS FIND A WAY TO LEAK INTO MY MISERABLE LIFE.  THE OUTCOME IS I AM ALWAYS ALONE AND I AM NOT SUPRISED ABOUT SUCH A TRAGIC OUTCOME...

REGARDING MY EX, I STARTED PRAYERS TO COMMUNICATE WITH HIM. I COMMUNICATED WITH THE INSANE MAN. I DO NOT KNOW HOW THIS PRAYERS CAUSED ME TO TALK TO HIM. 

OVERALL, LOVE IS NOT FOR ME TO CARRY WITH AS WELL...

MISERY IS WHAT I ALWAYS WISH FOR BECAUSE IT IS EASIER TO DEAL WITH YOUR OWN MISERIES RATHER THAN DEALING WITH LOVE.

THE END OF THE STORY!!!

NOW HE STOPPED TO BOTHER ME A BIT...

SHOULD I SAY THANKS?

JUST LEAVE ME ALONE...

Walking Away

Walking away,
Once again, the moon got darker,
I envision the purple flags
Swinging madly in love,
Yet, the empty feelings proceed with
The mirage of solitary nights...

Walking away,
Once again, I run into a white rabbit,
Yet, I seek for the wonderland
That I can reach at some peace
Rather than being followed
By a dreamcatcher that
Keeps on Holding me
Too Tight and Too Timid...

PS: Leave me ALONE.

I DON'T CARE IF YOU ARE IN LOVE...

reflections of a mirror

Reflections of a Mirror

The indescribable flow
Of holographic emotions
In which I end up with
Endless and pessimistic roads...

Catching up with the fire
That seems like a lonely manuscript
Of the reaper that leaks into our lives,
Tearing apart the intimate moments
Of the previous chapters in which
We both had been such a poetic harmony,
Just like the reflections of a mirror
Therefore, we had only deceived ourselves
With our own holistic masks...

PS: So what, IF WE BOTH LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH. WE WON'T be TOGETHER because WE ARE BOTH STRUGGLING WITH OUR OWN MISERIES...

Please, JUST GIVE ME A BREAK. No one Wins... No one Loses...

Can you STOP Loving ME. I can't Breath no longer...

melancholic crimes

Melancholic Crimes

Melancholic crimes that I have committed
Caused me to feel the a deep torment
Of being lonely like a pale tulip
In which there is no glowing...

The bubbles of happiness slide away
From my hands that have been tied up
By a twilight where I surrender myself
Into the frosty holes of isolation...

Solititude is on the way,
Breathless nights are just passing through
Drops of black rain and a mystic thunder
Make me evacuate the deserted emotions
In which there is no fate of stones
That I have drawn myself on a bygone of perpetuation...

PS: Leave me ALONE!!!

mellow mind

Mellow Mind

Mellow mind never gets HEALED,
Trying harder to FIX my thoughts,
Once again, they are all over into pieces
That can never be gathered TOGETHER
Like you and me, like me and my other sick characters...

I call upon the serenity
That never knocks at my door,
I just become a symbol of a doormat
Of my own self defense...

I picture a white owl,
I picture a dark crow,
I picture a wicked man,
I picture a wicked girl,
I picture a burning fire,
Fire vanishes, but the ruined walls
Keep remaning the same,
Just the time goes by,
The mind has no capacity to find
The accurate exit of sorrowful cluster
Of lonely valleys...

I picture the K guy,
I picture myself,
I picture us as ONE,
An image of a glittering sparrow pops up,
Yet, the past fills up the the blanks of
The messy hearts of a solitary game...

PS: I feel like to THROW UP. THERE WAS A GUY USED TO TELL ME DRINK LOTS OF WATER. IT doesn't help... Anyway, I JUST WANT TO BE ON MY OWN...

PS 2: Sorry about the youtube comments. I thought I WAS HEALED that way...

PS 3: YES, YOU LOVE ME MUCH... YES, I LOVE YOU MUCH. THAT IS IT!!!

The Opposite Poles

The opposite poles couldn't keep the INTIMACY,
The crosses had been distant to one another
Due to madness in which the two minds
Couldn't succeed to grow emotions
The terms had become worthless,
The moon and the light exchanged
An unexpected twist
In which the degenerated hearts 
Have erased the precious moments...

The opposite personalities couldn't keep up
The compatibility in which the two minds might
Become a unicorn shape of an emblem
Lightens up their dark walking footsteps,
The snowflakes couldn't achieve to impress
Their broken hearts and absent minds...
Yet, the momentum of feelings have become
Only a duration of hesitation
As if an everlasting journey had been interrupted...

WOW, WOW, WOW...

ADIOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

tribute to shity life

The Cherry Trees

The cherry trees will never blossom again,
The blind side of loving deeply will never
Lighten up any roadtrip...
The dark coloured of oceans will never see the light,
Due to the agonized faces of the past,
The leaves will never see the sun,
Yet, the hearts will always beat in the same rhythm...

The pink roses will never face with the fate
In which the distinct shapes of holy spirits will
Never intersect with the evil gardens
Of the ignorant plane trees...
Yet, the clean waves will keep the burning ashes
Of the foresaken dreams of hallucinating
The repetitive words of passionate moments
Of the touchy frosts that lead to unbearable despair...

Life goes on in every SHITY situation...

Tribute to friendship

I had never had a real friend,
ALL WERE like fake hopes
That I HAD JUST DRIFTED AWAY
Into a deep current filled with
Dark holes that ripped me AWAY
From the others's shades...

The trees were too mellow,
The leaves were too lonely,
The sky and the moon were too ANGRY,
I had reached at a high crisis
Of being in a PRISON
In which I allowed noone
To SET ME FREE...

THE

MELANCHOLY

NEVER 

STOPS...

AS

LONG

AS 

I AM ALIVE,

I

SHALL

ALWAYS

CURSE

ALL

THE

PEOPLE

I DO 

HATE

WITH

ALL

MY 

HEART

AND

SOUL...

IN RETURN, I GIVE MY UNBORN BABY... IT MUST BE A GOOD BARGAIN...

The Cemetary

The cemetary in which
I had chained myself
Could never been EVER broken into...
The ones whom have HURT ME,
They had been HURT DOUBLE
By my wicked games,
They were all IN LOVE,
I HAD NEVER BEEN IN LOVE...

The freezer in which
I had frozen the time
Could never been EVER melted away...
The ones whom I HATED FOREVER,
They had been ALWAYS DEVALUED,
ALL I wished their sadness...

I 

GUESS

I

REALLY

GAVE UP

ON

LOVE...

Mary Anne IV

Marry Anne was a better
Cherry Taste than BOJANA,
Both were my SEX SLAVES,
While I WAS PRESSING MY HANDS
ON these whores's pussies,
MY HANDS WERE LOSING THE CONTROL
In a CRAZY WAY THAT I WAS SO TOXIC
I COULD NOT STOP RAPING THEM
From their soft BOTTOMHOLES...
I WAS SO HAPPY
LIKE A CHILD,
I WAS SMILING SO BAD
AS IF THE RIVER WERE HOLDING ME
LIKE AN OLD GAY FRIEND...

BOJANA WAS THE BEST,
SANDY WAS THE WORST,
I FUCKED THEM BOTH,
I FUCKED THEM BOTH,
I FUCKED THEM BOTH,
BUT I HAD NO COURAGE TO FUCK
A VERY NAIVE GIRL,
THE GIRL DROVE ME NUTS SO BAD,
I LOST THE CONTROL,
FINALLY THE GIRL IS GONE,
ALL I HAVE IS MY OWN DICK
THE GIRL REALLY WAS HOT,
MY DICK COULD NOT GET INTO ACTION,
IN ANOTHER LIFE,
I WILL RAPE HER...

LOOOOOOOOOOOL....

RAPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ANYONE...

WHO CARESSSSSSSSSSS?

I HAD BEEN TRAUMATIZED IN UK....

IT WAS A WORSE EXPERIENCE THAN BEING RAPED....

WHO KNOWS?

MAYBE, SOMEONE RAPED ME THERE....

MMMMMMMMMMM, THAT IS ANOTHER SECRECY...

DIRTY SECRETSSSSSSS ARE INNNNNN BABES...

MAYBE NEXT TIME...

:)

A PROFESSIONAL LESBO GIRL:)

The Limitations

The Limitations

The limitations of sexual targets
That have been keeping me away
From being WILDLY TOUCHED....
The boundaries of emotional wounds
That have been keeping me away
From getting COMPLETELY HEALED...

The edges of my HIPS
That have been NEVER SQUEEZED
By a REAL MAN
Were getting hunger for
ANY attachment that
ONLY INVOLVES
WILD DESIRES of
BEING NON STOP RAPED...

Oh, being raped,
Oh, being raped,
Oh being raped,
IT IS A PLEASURABLE feeling
Rather than FALLING SO HARD.
Oh, falling so hard,
Oh, falling so hard,
Oh, falling so hard,
That would ONLY happen
ON AN AGNOSTIC DUNGEON
Of being FUCKED BY BLACK DEMONS...

OH, VOTEEEEEE MORE AM-ERICAAAAAAAAAAA... 

XOXOXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX....

I FEELLLLLLLLLLL SOOOOOOO HOT... :)

JOIN MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

ON

SKYPEEEEEEEEEE...

:)

:)

:)

LOOOOOOOOOOL...

The Chain

The chain is too tight
That the purple lipstick girl
Barely can walk ahead...
The pain is too much
That the red-hooded girl
Barely can see ahead...

The tide is coming,
The water is freezing,
The broken hearted girl
Barely can look ahead...

The words are empty,
The hearts are sore,
The given up girl
Barely can move ahead...

The stars are fighting with
Each other as if the girl and 
The brown rabbit used to fight...
The desperate girl
Barely could keep the
Little Rabbit,
He was the girl's best friend
In many ways, they were alike...

WHATEVER IT REFERS TO...

RABBIT IS SOMEONE, BUT WHICH ONE?

I EVEN HAVE FUCKING NO IDEA...

4:55 AM!!!

F

U

C

K

E

D

U

P

MODE

ONNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!

OF COURSE, NOBODY CAN HANDLE ME...

Dark Hammer

A dark hammer is coming furiosuly
In order to block my life path,
I get lunatic, I get lunatic, I get lunatic...

It's so cold,
It's so irresistable to put all MY EFFORT
Into the covens of sexy black witches
They turn me on
While I'm sipping my mint liquor
He has never been MINE,
He has never what I WANTED,
Those black witches are the ONES
Whom I USE like a slave
To suck their energy
In order to get the liquid 
Of being WICKED...

I feel the heat,
I get drunk, I get drunk, I get drunk...
The town that I dropped by
Was like a temple for me
In which I do FUCK ONLY WOMEN...

Melancholy is DRIVING ME NUTS,
Melancholy is touching my SKIN
Like a black monkey
That I raise my animalistic feelings
Towards all USELESS humanity...

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS MOOD? 

F

U

C

K

M

E

L

A

N

C

H

O

L

Y...

IF I CHANGE, I WILL BE BURRIED ALIVE...

LET US HAVE A FUCK

FUCK

Let us have a fuck,
Just DO IT
Just DO IT
Just DO IT...
Let us have a fuck.
I will be so SOFT
Then I will be so HARD
HARDER than your dick,
Oh boy, your dick is too WEAK...
My pussy is too STRONG...


Let us simply insert our fingers
Into each other's very PRECIOUS PARTS
Noone will discover what the fuck we are doing...
Don't be scared of ME,
I will JUST FUCK YOU SO BAD...
YOU will be my SUBMISSIVE BOYFRIEND...
I will be YOUR dominant GIRLFRIEND...
You could state that we are friends with benefits.
But in fact we are NOTHING
We just are each other's MEDICINE
In which we should drug IT to our
Toxic souls...

Breath meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...
Breath meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...
Breath meeeeeeee.....
I'm not VIRGIN
I'm not VIRGIN...
I'm not VIRGIN...
Fuck meeeeeeeeeeeee...
Fuck meeeeeeeeeeee...
Fuck meeeeeeeeeee....
I'll FUCK you HARDER...
I'm not a nice GIRL,
I just WANT to CONSTANTLY
RAPE you...
RAPE you..
RAPE you...
I'm your stepfather...
You are my stepdaughter...
You can't RUN AWAY from me more...
Breath meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...
You can't FORGET me,
I'm your STEPMOTHER,
You are my evil BABY...
I just want TO MOLEST you...
I just want to MOLEST you...
It won't STOP...
My baby, my baby, my baby,
I need to smell the bleach
In order to feel HIGH
To FUCK you harder...
Oh my baby boy,
You are my chicken
To play with FOREVER...

TO BE CONTINUED... UP TO MY FUCKED UP MOOD... I LOVE NOONE... I AM HAVING FUN... I HAD FUN FOR YEARS FOR THE SAKE OF MY EX WITH ABSURD POEMS, TOO... THIS WILL BE OVER, TOO... I NEED A NEW MAN, BUT SOMEONE CAN STAY AND FUCK MEEEEEEEEEEEEE NON STOP AND SOMEONE I CAN FUCKKKKKKKKKKK FOREVER... NOONE CAN HAVE THE COURAGE TO FUCKKKKKKKKKKKK.... WHY DO THEY GET SO SCARED OF ME? LOOOOOOOL...

tribute to FUCKING loneliness

Lonely Rain

The rain is too lonely that
It seeks for a safe umbrella
Covered with a violet color
It is almost dawn time,
I wake up with a voice
Calling my name very passionately,
I do reject the voice
I surrender myself into my relentless thoughts
In which I truly get lost...
I dream of being RAPED rather than being LOVED!!!

The rain is too pessimistic that
It seeks for a bright sunny light
Covered with raindrops of hope,
Trust and lust...
The clouds get too wild that
I need to control my insane thoughts
Once again, I surrender into a deep loop
That I can't even recognize the letters of alphabet...

The rain has finally stopped,
The yellowish leaves are the ONLY ones
That keep me company...
I wish that I could gaze at the
Silver cord of our hearts got
Fall apart suddenly...
Yet, the winter is coming,
I can feel the icy scent of snowflakes
That were dancing like an insane fumes of a heavy smoke
Cuddled with the TWO bodies of CRAZY couple
I have high hopes to fall for
Someone else whom I can
Be TOUCHED AND KISSED
Instead of dreaming the ONES
Whom CAN NEVER be
MINE due to their mental defects...

THEY SHOULD ALL FUCK OFF BECAUSE I WILL FALL FOR ANOTHERONE... TIME HEALS AND TIME WILL FUCK ME AGAIN WITH A NEW ONE... :))))

Tribute to a CRAZY SOUL

SEEK

Seek her well,
She is gone FOREVER,
She is BRAVE,
You had lost not only a LOVER,
But also a SOULMATE...

Come on, You have many SOULMATES,
Seek your little girl well,
She is gone to her own way,
She is driving the time too FAST 
And TOO FURIOUS,
Paul Walker is smiling at her,
Not you...

Come on, you have many dead FRIENDS,
Seek their HELP well,
She is gone to her own TRAGIC LIFE,
She is very addicted to VENTOLIN,
She will INHALE it forever,
Only in the right moment of
Her surviving ALONE
In the middle of the night of
Letting go all sorrows...

YES.
YES.
YES.

SEEK WELL...

PS: LONDON LONDON ADVENTURE IS OVER...

:)

the little cat on the roof

PART I

She was the little cat on the roof,
He kept following her...
She was meowing agressively,
He was roaring annoyingly,
Yet, they never succeeded to 
Persuade each other to evolve TOGETHER...

She was the little child in the balcony,
He kept playing hide and seek with HER...
She was waving at him cheerfully,
He was kissing her little lips passionately,
ONLY in his DREAMS, ONLY in his DREAMS...

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL....


LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL....

TO BE CONTINUED IN ANOTHER MOOD... 

ROFL....

OVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR....

ADMIT THAT IT WAS A FUN POEM TO READ...

YET, I BROKEEEEEEEEEEEE UPPPPPPPPPPPP... I ENDED....

HE CAN HAVE BOOOO-JANAAAAAAAAAAA...:)

eternal silence

Eternity is the core of
Our seeing each other endlessly,
Yet, we will keep missing one another...
Silent moments, silent nights and silent days,
Yet, we will keep remembering one another...

Eternal silence is the ONLY remnant from
Our loving each other endlessly,
Yet, we will keep replacing the OTHERS with
Our distant feelings that stemmed from
Painful tragedies in which we have FOUND our OWN self...

Eternity is the source of
Our forgetting each other finally,
Yet, we will keep whispering each other's wounded souls...
Our new tactics will lead us towards FREEDOM,
Yet, we will keep yearning for becoming ONE...

OVER,

OVER.

OVER.

OVER.

suicidal raindrops

Suicidal raindrops move rapidly,
My eyes lose their sight,
My heart aches for a thousand years of
Imprisonment and gloomy emotions...
The road is too blurry to take a step,
He is too weak to say a word,
The other characters of mine are
Very VAGUE to recognize who I'M...


The sun is too far away
From my tears that burst into
A filthy bag of painkillers,
I do overdoze my inhaler,
I do overdoze my inhaler,
I do overdoze my inhaler,
Nobody cares,
Nobody saves ME,
I get addicted to toxic smells,
Once again I just lay on my bed
With a broken mirror in which
I gaze at as if I was seeing
A pale imaginary girl
That I will never give a birth
Due to my unforgivable sins...

I GUESS MY BRAIN IS FUCKED UP AGAIN...

SUICIDE. SUICIDE. SUICIDE. NOBODY WILL CARE...